I Lay Awake

I lay awake alone
confused, bemused and trembling
in creeping thrills of
terror and ecstasy
I ponder forbidden hope
Could I? Should I? Would I?
dizzy burning briny tears
shudder through me, entrancing fears
have I sacrificed all in vain?
my martyrdom all in pain
I would reach out with trembling
my parched lips pulsate
in thudding rhythm with my heart
I can't, I won't
I shall, I can.
I raised my hand, I also ran
I turn with tortured heart strained
I hide my head beneath my hands
I am next to another, but I lay awake - Alone.