Within me in silent secretive vaults lies the man
the man I would be if only,
if only I were brave,
if only I were strong,
if only I were handsome,
if only I were as smart as he.
He watches me
he judges me
he hurts me
he laughs at me
I never measure up
my best is not even worth his consideration
what would others say?
what would others think?
I am lucky he can warn me not to try
hold back, this challenge is too great,
let it go by.
what right do I have to dream?
I am slow,
I am gay,
I am stupid,
his contempt drains in greasy ripples through my soul
I lift my hand
I take a stand
I fail
I fall
in mocking monologue he explains why I can never be as good as he
as fast as he
as successful as he
as loved as he.
© 1998-2002 Telorian Industries - Eric Barton. All Rights Reserved.